Dear Sandi

I can't believe its been 5 years since I last saw you. I still remember standing in my kitchen making my leftover Chinese food and thinking I wonder where mom, dad, Doyle and Sandi are going to dinner? I remember hearing so many sirens so close and thinking geez I wonder what happened? I remember answering the phone mid bite and hearing my mom tell me you were gone. So much has changed since that day. Those sweet little Burt boys, well they are getting so big. Tanner is almost 15 and starting high school, can you believe that? Walker Gage and Gavin are getting way to big too! Sweet baby Trevor is starting kindergarten this fall, he looks just the same as he did the last time you rocked him to sleep. Fussy baby Jack, well he is 5 years old and going to kindergarten this fall to! I remember my last conversation with you, talking about how fussy he was and I had just come from the doctor with him and thought maybe he was getting better. My life is filled with fond memories of you, I wish you were here to fill it with more. We miss you Sandi and think of you often. It warms my heart to think of you looking down smiling on your family and friends and being proud of how your children have turned out. I am especially thankful you were waiting in heaven for my little girl. I am glad she has you to take care of her until I get there. We miss you, miss your advice and yummy food, your smile and mostly just you.

With Love from all of us!

Re Do

I love to redecorate things in my house, I am always thinking about a way to re arrange or change the look of a room in my house. I have never been really happy with the way Emma's room looked. When I found out she was a girl I bought everything PINK! The problem was I picked up this here and that there and when I put it all together in her freshly painted pink room, it was a PINK EXPLOSION! Don't get me wrong it was sweet, just very pink! So last winter when she turned 2 I had stared at the pink as long as I could and had to do some changing. So I made her some pink and brown pictures with flowers and I love them. Then I took existing pictures and wall hangings from her room and painted them in the pink and brown them. It came together pretty well, but I couldn't find a valance. So I have been searching off and on since then for a valance that will complete the room, I have looked at fabric until I could puke, and never found just the right one. My love for craigslist hit me yesterday and I sold her pink gingham valance from her pinksplosion room and decided I was getting a replacement now. But still I cant find just the right fabric. On the advice from all the people I asked I got a brown with pink polka dots fabric and sewed up some valances. The finale result...eh....it's ok...yeah just ok. I really don't like it. So now I am back to square one.... new valance, or am I over pink and brown? LOL who knows. I'm a nut like that ;)

The results are in:

NO BUBBIE CANCER FOR THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU GOD!
THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO SUPPORTED ME THROUGH THIS VERY LONG 2 WEEKS..
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!

Big girls don't cry

Emma has been in "big girl" pants since Thursday and is doing great! She still has the occasional accident but for the most part is doing very well. She is quickly moving from my baby to my little girl and it is so bittersweet :( No more paci no more diapers, she talks and communicates with me just like a real person.
A few nights ago I put her to bed and she wasn't having it. For like 45 minutes she kicked the door and screamed, about not wanting to go to bed and about wanting her paci. Finally I opened the door and handed her a paci. She grabbed that stuck it in her mouth and ran for her bed, it was hilarious! The next morning I took the paci and cut the tip off. She was livid! She threw the biggest fit I've seen in a while. Then after she calmed down she looked at her paci and said "Oh, paci, DARN IT!" See she is a big girl! A baby wouldn't say that.

Last project

When we moved into our house over 3 years ago, we striped wallpaper and painted every room...well almost, not the bathrooms. This winter after begging jeremy to do it for years and even asking a few other people, I did the upstairs ones myself. I didn't do to bad for it being my first time! Since yesterday was a rain day and we were stuck inside, I decided to tackle the basement bathroom. It is huge, like stupidly huge, it could be another bedroom it's that big. It also has a beautiful purple/bluish carpet in it with light purple walls and the ugliest wallpaper boarder I have ever seen, well almost the ugliest. So I took a bottle of windex and a scraper and went to town.. I am pretty sure that stuff was super glued on..man am I glad that part is over! Oh but wait I forgot this tiny wall between the shower and cupboard! POOP! O-well its only about 6-8 inches... can't be that bad... right? I yanked down all the towel bars, because like the rest of the house I hated the color and hated where they were placed. The people who lived here before us we very nice but they had the worst decorating style I have ever seen. Geeze these people were challenged. (not that I am an expert) Now I have the holes filled and some of the taping done. I need to sand over the puddied holes and rough spots, wipe down the walls and I am ready to paint! the best part is that I found spray paint to paint my towel bars so I don't have to replace them! YIPPEE! I wonder if I am going to have to take the lights down to spray them? Probably so... but that is going to require some help!

Bubbie Weekend

I went in at 5:30am on Friday for my bubbie surgery I hate going under, I have this weird phobia that I might not wake up. (I know, I'm a little nuts) Anyway all went well and I was home by 11:30. I loaded up on pain pills and took a nap. FYI: I think someone should really tell the Doctor to stop telling people that they are going to be pain free when they come home. That was far from pain free... The pain pills they gave me not only made me the most irritable Bi*c* ever but I had an allergic reaction to them and my face swelled up and and broke out in a rash. Luckily by the time I figured that out I didn't need to take the pills anymore. I find out my results from the biopsy on Tuesday afternoon, and I am sure they will be fine. Just another weird thing my body does!

my newest love

Meet my newest love Ellie Lynne Hastrieter! She is the beautiful baby girl of our friends Will and Stacey and will be joining my crazy crew in the fall when her mommy goes back to work. I couldn't be more excited! I am going to snuggle and love this baby all day long! Emma and I will never get anything else done because we will just sit and hold Ellie all day. :)

Alltel part 35 million

The Alltel saga is finally over (I think) I went in last week and cancelled my contract with Alltel which cost me $250 but I guess well worth it. I signed up with Verizon and haven't had any trouble! (knock on wood) It didn't go all that smooth. I went in on Wednesday night while me neighbor kept my kids. Got through most of the process and wouldn't you know, the Alltel system shut down because it was to close to 9 aka closing time! GREAT! So I came back the next morning and did it all over with all 3 kids! Aunt Sue came with me and helped corral them but it wasn't as smooth as it could have been the night before without them. O-well it's over and done now and I am now the proud owner of a phone that works :)

bubbies

About a month ago I started noticing my left bubbie was leaking blood. Annoying but whatever... I think it has happened before. Put that on the back burner and chalk it up to another annoying thing my body does. But then it was getting worse and more noticeable.... Internet what can you tell me. Blood leaking for the breast can be a sign of breast cancer. Oh lord are you kidding me? I called the doctor who wanted to see me right away took a sample and referred me on to a surgeon. SURGEON!!! HUH???? I waited for the results and was thinking about canceling the appointment with the surgeon. I called the doctor a week later because no one had called me back with the results....NOTE: never call for test results while driving in the car with children. The nurse tells me the results were ABNORMAL.. OMG!!!!! abnormal??????? Thankfully my appointment with the surgeon was that afternoon. I went in and they already had my test results and knew what needed to be done. I have to have my bubbie opened up and tube thingy shoved in there and one of my milk ducts taken out and biopsied. NO!!!!!!!!!!! Surgery??? BIOPSY?????? NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am freaking out and can not wait for this to all be behind me. I am to busy being a mommy to be sick. No more!
Thanks!